People that are abusive are skilled at employing expressions which you might not recognize as abusive. They say stuff that will make you doubt your mental and memory abilities. The abuser will keep pulling their victim down by using the gaslighting phrases.
Psychologists explain that the abuser targets other people. They gradually start by making offensive remarks or criticism. Then, they’ll either deny saying it altogether or put it off as a joke.
The victim of gaslighting suffers great harm and may end up caught in a vicious circle of abuse. You can probably recognize an abusive person if you know someone who employs these gaslighting terms.
1. “I’ll tell you again since you’re unable to recall anything.”
A person who engages in gaslighting will consistently attempt to create the impression that you are experiencing memory problems. They act in this way in an attempt to persuade you to recall something differently. You can start to doubt your sanity if it occurs frequently enough.
Using this technique, an abuser can distort reality and make you believe things that never occurred. You will eventually come to doubt reality even after you have knowledge about what you observed and experienced.
2. Why do you tell lies? That is not what I did.
Abusers also utilize this expression to manipulate their victims. This is just another way to make you doubt your recollections. They willfully persuade you to accept their version of events in lieu of the truth.
You will feel like you’re in the wrong after hearing this gaslighting statement. These kinds of statements are tried by abusers even if you see them acting or hearing them speak.
3. “You’re simply overly anxious.”
It can be a symptom of gaslighting if somebody tells you that your feelings or thoughts are only a result of stress. The person who abuses you tries to give you the impression that you lack mental strength and are unable to think rationally. They’ll probably say other things while using this statement, giving the impression that you’re not understanding them.
They may then inform you that you’re the only one who shares your opinions. An abusive individual enjoys giving their victims a sense of instability and social rejection. You feel alone and questioned about your identity and beliefs when you hear this statement.
5. “The people you have as friends are not good.”
Abuse occurs whenever someone tries to make you feel that the individuals you love and cherish your relationships with are horrible. When someone gaslights someone else, they usually seek to isolate their victims, and their circle of friends is where it usually starts. They’ll rapidly desire to be your lone partner in life.
In an attempt to take control, abusive persons will try to persuade you to cut off relationships with other people. You will rely on them more the more persons they are able to remove. Additionally, they don’t want your loved ones to call attention to how terrible their actions are.
6. “Your poor communication skills are not my fault.”
When someone abusive says anything that upsets or hurts you, they’ll say you’re misinterpreting them. They’ll tell you to communicate more effectively, even if there’s no other means to understand what they said.
You start to doubt not just your memory but also your communication skills as a result. An abuser is increasing their victim’s belief in them each time they carry out this behavior. They make you doubt reality and believe you are the only one having problems.
Abusers will attempt to force you to do actions that you find uncomfortable. They say it demonstrates your lack of love for them if you don’t comply with their requests. If you don’t forgive someone for something harmful they did to you, this expression may appear.
8. “The only person I have issues with is you.”
An abuser is going to utilize a sentence like this when you speak up. They can persuade you that their behavior is acceptable solely to you, thereby validating their actions.
9. “Do you not recall discussing this with me?”
They will try to make you feel as though you have already consented to anything when you are uncomfortable or don’t want to do it. In an attempt to coerce you into doing something against your better judgment, the abuser tries to change your beliefs. When abusers employ this method, victims frequently fall for them because they are so persuasive.
10. “You are to blame for it.”
Abuseful people will turn the tables and put the blame on you, regardless of what they accomplished or said. They won’t have to alter their inappropriate behavior if they can convince you that it’s all your fault.
Even now, emotionally unstable people will assign responsibility to others. They always blame someone else, who is typically their greatest victim, when they are upset.
Someone will claim it was a joke when they mistreat you or say nasty things to you. An abuser is going to tell you that you’re not funny enough. They act in this way because they find it unable to express regret or acknowledge their mistakes.
12. “You’re not upset with anything,”
They will contend that they did nothing improper or that they were unaware that you would become enraged. The abuser will attempt to persuade you that you’re incorrect even when they are aware of their mistakes. They’ll downplay or transfer the responsibility, making you question your sentiments and ideas.
This kind of individual will not understand the problem, no matter how clearly you explain it. They might also justify their behavior by blaming it on their beliefs before acting on it. They will feel justified when they provide an excuse based on their principles or beliefs.
13. “You’re insane. That is visible to all.
This is what an abusive person may say, and they may also label you as obsessed. They do thus to give you the impression that your behavior and thoughts are improper. Their intention is to instill self-doubt in you in order to subjugate you.
14. “I’m not even angry or sad.”
Abusive individuals who gaslight others will act as though they’re furious or disturbed but won’t discuss it. They are going to tell you they’re not angry when you ask them why. Though it’s clear the abuser is unhappy, this behavior makes the victim wonder if they’re dreaming.
They might even take this as a chance to shift the blame against you. They are going to accuse you of being furious instead of upset once they have expressed that they are not unhappy.
15. “The only person who will love you is me.”
An abuser persuades his victim that they are unloved by anyone. In order to get their victim to stay around, they seek to make them feel unlovable. Saying that negative things are being spoken about you is one method they accomplish this.
16. “What makes you so suspicious?”
This is the line that a gaslighter will utilize even if there is proof of misconduct. This is a method an abusive person uses to minimize you and give the impression that your ideas are unimportant. Furthermore, it may make you completely doubt your views and convictions.
17. “Your reaction is excessive.”
Saying you’re overreacting or calling you dramatic are frequent signs of gaslighting. The one who abuses you attempts to convince you that your emotions are unimportant by stating this.
A gaslighting strategy is when someone says something that you ought to have known but they never said. There is not a way for you to know anything they didn’t tell you because nobody can read minds.
19. “Too sensitive, you are.”
An abuser is likely to say this to you if you cry or become angry. This is particularly true if you find yourself grieving over them. They use this tactic to divert attention from themselves by giving you the impression that you are at fault.
20. You seem to be exaggerating the situation.
This term is typically used by someone who is trying to hide something. To deflect attention from whatever they are doing incorrectly, they employ this strategy. Instead, they turn the tables on you and start questioning who you are.
21. “You overread everything all the time.”
This is what an abuser will say to get you out of investigating issues that are troubling you. You may back off and let it go if an abuser convinces you that you’re overanalyzing the situation.
