The truth is that we are the only ones who can ensure our pleasure. Although it may come across as harsh, it is a reality. All of us want to be happy, yet many people search in the wrong places. When happiness doesn’t come our way, we struggle because we put our expectations of happiness on someone else.
So how can we discover happiness if we are unable to rely on others? Our environment, genetics, and culture are just a few of the variables that affect our level of happiness. One of the most amazing manifestations of self-love is accepting responsibility for your happiness.
This article will talk about happiness and why it’s risky to rely on other people to find it. Additionally, it will offer five suggestions to help you stop depending on other people to make you happy.
What is happiness exactly?
Although happiness is a universal emotion, its sources may not also be. You might not find happiness in what makes me happy, and vice versa. Nature, exercise, my dog, and spending time with loved ones are some of my greatest sources of enjoyment. Children offer delight to many people, even though I don’t have any or want any.
To ensure happiness, consider these three factors.
• Pleasure – engaging in activities we enjoy.
• Engagement – taking an interest in our surroundings and our activities.
• Meaning: Having the conviction that your actions count.
It’s crucial to understand that happiness is a journey, not a final destination. It is a feeling that we have in the present moment and that changes daily depending on our surroundings. What are the dangers of depending on others for happiness?
Your happiness is your responsibility alone, and if you place that responsibility on anyone else, you relinquish control.
Yes, it makes sense that other people would affect our degree of happiness. But if we rely on others to make us happy, we lose self-efficacy and run the risk of developing learned helplessness habits if the connections that once provided us with happiness don’t work out.
When you demand that others provide your happiness, you are unfairly and unnecessarily burdening them. According to relationship experts, if you want a healthy relationship, you should date until after you are content with yourself. And far too many individuals have children in order to make themselves happier.
Relying on others for happiness can put a lot of strain and pressure on you. This pressure can lead to family discord, relationship breakdowns, and profound sadness.
Two teens belong to my friend. She abandoned all of her interests and pastimes in favor of taking on the role of mother. She lived vicariously via her kids for a very long time. She is deeply unhappy because her kids push her away and act as though they are suffocating her. She spent many years relying on her children to provide her happiness and is now at a loss. Hopefully she will reconnect with her former interests.
Happiness is likely to come from healthy connections, but as soon as we start looking to other people to make us happy, things start to go south.
But it’s not necessary to be! You’ll be shielded against anything attempting to steal your happiness by following these ten suggestions!
There are five strategies to stop relying on others to make you happy.
People may make us incredibly happy since we are social beings. However, issues come when we rely on others to make us happy. We must develop the ability to produce our own happiness without placing this need on other people.
Here are five suggestions to help you quit relying on other people to make you happy.
Pursue your happiness
When she was in a relationship, a friend of mine would always vanish. She didn’t just disappear from her friends; she also gave up her interests. She also embraced his hobbies and interests in her quest to make the subject of her love and attention her one-stop shop for everything. In all honesty, it was odd to watch.
Did it bring her joy? Hell no, when she couldn’t figure out why they didn’t make her happy, each relationship ended as she had expected. She gave up on herself and her interests, giving a string of men the task of making her happy.
Ironically, it was her enthusiasm and curiosity that initially drew them to her. However, she allowed all of this to lapse and drank them dry. They were abandoned in a lifeless space.A miserable location!
I have quite different hobbies from my girlfriend.And it’s okay. He would never suggest giving up my hobbies so we could spend more time together, and I would never agree.By investing time in the things that make me happy, I project happiness to my partner.
Do what makes you happy, not what makes someone else happy, if you want to be happy.
Develop wholesome attachment
What are currently known as the four primary attachment patterns that humans pick up from infancy were developed by the British psychotherapist John Bowlby.
Secure, Anxious, Anxious-ambivalent, and Avoidant are these attachment styles.
All of us carry over some of our childhood attachment patterns into adulthood. Our attachment styles are reflected in our relationships. For instance, anxious-ambivalent individuals are frequently dependent on others emotionally as adults; hence, how they rely on others influences their pleasure.
Consider consulting with a therapist if your attachment style interferes with your happiness.
Strive for balance
Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, require reciprocity. When we depend on others to make us happy, we frequently give them too much of our time and energy and may feel angry if we don’t receive the same amount in return. Our excessive enthusiasm has the potential to throw off the reciprocity rules.
Discover a healthy balance in your relationships.This balance may require you to widen your social circle in order to lessen the pressure you could put on one person. We are social beings, and other individuals bring out various aspects of us. When we expand our tribe of extraordinary individuals, we distribute our standards for other people and foster a balance in our interpersonal interactions.
Watch out for negativity anchors
Our wellbeing can be severely impacted by having poor mental health. Poor mental health can be made worse by bad relationships, and in certain cases, toxic relationships can even make it worse.
However, we must exercise extreme caution since projecting our misery onto others is just as unhealthy as projecting our happiness onto them.People may not always have anything to do with our psyche.
Do you frequently blame others for your problems? Do you place the blame on your kids, partner, friend, or another person? If that is the case, you run the same risk of making others responsible for your happiness.
You get to decide how you react to them; nobody else is to blame for your sadness. Even if you may not agree with something they said or did, you get to decide how you will respond to them. You have influence over your emotions and how you feel on the inside. Once you realize this, happiness will follow a similar pattern.
I feel obliged to share my favorite image of happiness because it conveys a potent idea about how we may make our own happiness.
Clean up the flowerbed of friendship
Untangling dysfunctional or poisonous relationships is one of the most important things you can do to create a happier, more balanced balance in your life. Spend less time with individuals who continuously complain, criticize, or bring you down and more time with those that uplift you and make you feel energised.
I understand that you can’t just cut some individuals out of your life; limits are crucial in this situation.
Because you will always be let down if your ultimate goal is to find happiness in a relationship that is complicated and difficult.
Learn to create your own happiness and give it as a gift to others.
Realizing that we are in charge of our happiness is empowering. Nobody else has any power over our emotions, so once we take charge of them, our wellbeing and sense of fulfillment in life improve.
Don’t forget to follow our five suggestions to quit relying on others to make you happy.
- Follow your happiness.
- Strive for equilibrium.
- Clean up the flowerbed of friendship.
- Develop secure attachments.
- Watch out for happiness anchors.
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