You met a wonderful person, then? If you believe in such things, they almost appear too appealing to be true, as if they might be your soulmate. They worship you based only on a first impression and possibly a few dates, even though you two have everything in common.
Even when anything seems a little strange, you choose to dismiss it. You conclude that it’s simply your dread of having a genuine relationship because you’ve met so many individuals and you’re scared to show them how much you truly like them.
Even though nobody wants to learn that their Cinderella or Prince Charming is a phony, it’s likely the case if anything doesn’t feel right. Among other things, two-faced narcissists are quite skilled at making their spouses feel crazy and abusing them. They are also so charming and gorgeous that nobody would trust you if you said you were someone else.
Those who are two-faced often exhibit the following behaviors:
Bombing people with love
You will never like spending time with a narcissistic person as much as you will during this era. It has an expiration date and is regrettably all mere delusion. While they try to hook you with things that “only the two of you” have in common, they are going to give you their seemingly complete focus.
SEE ALSO: 10 Characteristics of Strong People Who Don’t Take Empathy from others
They’ll tell you that you’re unique and different from their crazy, foolish, or trashy ex-partners, and that they don’t know how they could have survived this long without you. In the expectation that you will trust in them too, they are going to take you on pleasant dates, mimic your hobbies and style of humor, and even share personal details about their past.
The most difficult aspect of overcoming narcissistic abuse is persuading yourself that the individual you knew during the love-bombing stage was deliberately deceptive, well-planned, and meant to deceive you. Furthermore, you won’t be able to persuade friends you share that this individual is genuinely unrepentantly apathetic beyond this stage.
Using triangulation
They have love-bombed, are currently love-bombing, or will soon love-bomb someone else but you. These “one and only” statements are being used by them with a lot of other people. Before long, they will begin to make fun of other women subtly and how they feel marginally superior to you.
You will be “overreacting” and “dramatic” if you call out the dishonest person because it will be so passive-aggressive. They will make it difficult to distinguish among those who are “just friends,” telling you that you shouldn’t be concerned when, in fact, they have no friends. They also have those who give them narcissistic stuff and people who are thrown out.
SEE ALSO: 21 Gaslighting Words Abusive Persons Use To Manipulate Others
When you witness them using their new supplies, it can be difficult to avoid feeling envious. As the new victim starts on what has been dubbed “death with a thousand paper cuts,” you might even feel sorry for them.
Due to the participation of someone else in their conflict, the individual who is being triangulated may feel isolated, manipulated, and dominated, which can be especially harmful. It can be particularly harmful in family relations, as children are frequently involved in arguments between parents.
Keeping up a pleasant public image
You will never persuade your pals that this duplicitous individual is who they claim to be. Accept that as quickly as possible.
People will attempt to tell you that you were the one who was crazy, that you became too connected, and that this person didn’t mean to hurt you, but seriously, you’re just too sensitive. Don’t purchase it.
You are intimately aware of the narc’s charm, their fantastic wordplay, and their ability to make their audience feel unique. You are aware of their identities.
Even when it doesn’t seem fair, don’t strive to ruin their reputation. You can’t succeed. Only they have the ability to effectively destroy their reputation, which will occur if anyone else approaches closely enough.
Making blanket claims or gaslighting
The deceitful individual will do a fantastic job of persuading you that you are exaggerating or that they didn’t say or do what you have accused them of.
SEE ALSO: Why A person always feeling low motivation? How to come out of it?
Attempting to confront them will only make them downplay any wrongdoing and either charm or threaten you into taking back what you said. They are so adept at this that you will have to offer an apology for anything they did to offend you.
Gaslighting in relationships can have a profound effect on a victim’s perception of reality, resulting in feelings of bewilderment, a decline in self-worth, a rise in mistrust of others, and trouble sustaining wholesome relationships, according to research that was published in the Journal of Personal and Social Relationships.
This makes it more difficult for people to leave abusive relationships since it frequently makes them doubt their memories and impressions. In personal relationships, where a great degree of trust is usually involved, this is very harmful.
Isolation
Just like when you try to destroy their public image, nobody will believe the awful things the liar said about your buddies. Anyone you think of as a friend will be denigrated to the extent that you start to wonder why you spend time with them.
After you make the decision to cut off all contact, you will see that the narc is spending an increasing amount of time with these individuals. Because you are the only one who can “save” them from the world that they live in and since they’re the only one who knows you, it will eventually get to the point where you feel like this person is all you have.
SEE ALSO: 10 Rare Skills That Will Set You Apart from 99% of people.
Relationship pleasure might suffer greatly from social isolation. It causes less closeness, more conflict, and a higher chance of relationship breakdown. According to a study that was published in the Current Opinion in Psychology, couples who have less social connections are less likely to have their partnership supported and approved, which leaves them more susceptible to stress and unpleasant feelings.
Expressing regret
They will definitely return if you end up cutting the narc out, which is something you should be proud of. They will eventually return, but it might take a long time.
They treat everyone who was formerly a source of supply in this way, so don’t be flattered. It is not out of love, but rather a need for attention.
They will say they encountered an epiphany and that you two were destined to be together all along, admit their mistakes, and lament how they were wrong to treat you so badly. You will quickly discover that they never meant a word of it if you choose to forgive them.
Once more, it is hard to tell the difference between a sincere apology and one from a phony. Go with your instincts on this one and ignore other viewpoints. Making no touch is the only method to defeat a narcissistic person who is deceitful.
Devaluation
These jabs at your intelligence, personality, or appearance will seem like jokes. You are going to be criticized of being overly sensitive if you attempt to explain to a hypocritical person that you don’t find these amusing. They might do this by improperly grabbing you in public and claiming it was only a joking gesture.
SEE ALSO: The Effect of Self-Respect on Your Life
Their comment on your friend’s attractiveness could be interpreted as a praise rather than an insult. In an effort to shield you from the unpleasant reality, they might do this by putting you in the dark about something you need to know.
Except for the initial phases of No Contact, this is the most agonizing stage with the narcissist. Similar to love-bombing, the narcissist’s deft and covert emotional abuse can affect anyone. That’s precisely what it is, too—it’s abuse, not “being mean” or “miscommunication.”
