When someone you’ve been speaking to regularly disappears off the face of the planet without any prior notice, it can be incredibly frustrating and depressing. There are only four actions you should do if you believe you are being ghosted: Ask the ghost what’s up, consider whether you’re genuinely being ghosted, take note of your concern, and then move on. precisely in that order!
Below is an explanation of what to do if you suspect ghosting.
What is ghosting?
Usually in the context of dating, ghosting is when someone stops responding to communications and vanishes from a relationship without explanation. The phrase can also refer to any circumstance in which a person abruptly ceases to communicate or appear, such as when a friend starts ignoring your texts or when an employee simply stops turning up to work without ever formally quitting.
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Give up trying to figure out why they ignored you.
Your brain enjoys being certain. You can be curious as to why something occurred because you think knowing will help you feel better and more in control.
Ghosting places you in an unsettling situation. You’re left with no explanation and a ton of conflicting emotions. I was confused as to why my friend stopped talking to me. I still have no idea why. We faced difficulties in our relationship, but we overcame them. We parted ways with a pleasant hug and the phrase “stay in contact” the last time we spoke over lunch. I had no reason to believe that we wouldn’t communicate to one another again, but clearly something made them prefer ghosting to talking.
I know you want to know why you were ghosted, but the truth is, you might never find out. I felt liberated the day I formally conceded that I would never understand why. I finally understood I didn’t need them to give me closure, and that’s when I reached a place of acceptance. I had the authority to end the chapter on my own.
Detaching, accepting the unknown, and forging forth with confidence may all be part of loving and being present for oneself.
Spend Some Time in Grief
Sorrow encompasses both the loss of what was and the possibility of what could have been.
My experience of being ghosted felt unreal a lot of the time. Even though my ghost wasn’t speaking to me, I was still hopeful that they would eventually do so so that we could resume our conversation. I was denying it. I was unable to confront reality and start moving forward until I gave myself time to digest my sadness.
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Journaling, meditation, and bringing in thoughts of shared humanity, or recognizing that I was not alone and that others endure suffering as I do, were a few things that helped. That made me feel sympathetic toward both my ghost and myself.
Being angry keeps you bound. On the other hand, grieving enables you to release the energy that is attached to a person or the past. After you’ve mourned the death of your ghost, you may direct your focus back toward yourself and the people in your life who support you.
Give no one that much authority.
I’m usually a really straightforward person who wears her heart on her sleeve in most situations. However, in the world of ghosting, this is a great way to injure yourself. I learned from this event that I shouldn’t ever again give someone the ability to harm me in such a way. Well, I can relax enough to enjoy someone, but it doesn’t mean I should allow myself to feel so devastated if they decide not to see me again. If I want to be truly happy, their sentiments for me and how I view myself must be wholly unrelated As a result, I no longer worry about what is going through someone else’s mind when they ignore me or don’t pay me the attention I believe I deserve. Instead, I concentrate on taking care of myself. When I focus on how I feel about myself rather than how other people feel about me, life becomes lot simpler in the long run.
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Avoid focusing your thoughts on them.
I considered how much time I had wasted worrying about the ghost in question after my ghosting incident. I kept track of the time I spent waiting for texts, wondering if they liked me, and getting frustrated when it became evident they would almost certainly never respond. It turned out to be about two weeks. I now realize that, at least in the early stages of a relationship, my time is much too valuable to spend that much on someone else. I now know when to move on and stop worrying if someone doesn’t like me or doesn’t appear interested in me. In the event that they do, they will undoubtedly do so, and in the meantime, I will still be enjoying myself while living my life. How about if they don’t? That’s also okay. It’s advantageous in both situations to refuse to focus your mental energy on someone who seems to be ghosting you.
Take better care of yourself than ever before.
You could feel mentally, emotionally, and physically fatigued after processing sadness and grief. In addition to overnight sleep disruption and insomnia, I also felt overall exhaustion, which made it challenging to continue my self-care practices during the day.
Even when you don’t feel like it, I implore you to take better care of yourself than you ever have. I know it’s not always easy. Going on a stroll in the evening, experimenting with meditation, or practicing breathwork might help you calm your racing mind if you’re having trouble falling asleep. It naturally becomes simpler to prioritize other health-promoting behaviors when you are well-rested.
Widen Your Perspective on Your Life
Not every significant relationship in our life is intended to last. I am aware that this reality can be difficult to accept.
It’s natural to want someone you connect with to stick around forever, whether they are a friend, a romantic partner, a mentor, or a coach. If they don’t, you could believe that you won’t ever meet anybody else quite like them. Nonetheless, even though there is only one of them, there are roughly 8 billion people in the world. This means that if you make a commitment to completing in-depth self-work, relinquish control and remain open, and cultivate an abundant attitude, there is a high likelihood that you will meet and connect with other individuals. Keep in mind the people in your life who are still there for you. Love them for them.
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I still miss and care about my pal. I constantly wish them happiness and success. Getting ghosted by them made no difference. Yet, it did set me on a journey to learning how my self-worth relates to the actions of other people. Briefly, they don’t.
With my commitment to treatment, mindfulness practice, and my own healing, I have come to understand that what other people decide to do or not do has nothing to do with them. They, I, and you are each on our own individual journeys. Love yourself and be there for yourself, no matter where you’re going or what occurs. You deserve it.