How much listening and how much chatting do you engage in on a typical day? I’m talking about active listening, when you concentrate upon what the other people are expressing and take it in rather than immediately formulating the perfect response. Why talking less and listening more is important. We have been endowed with a very priceless gift: the ability to communicate. the aptitude for language. the benefit of being able to put our thoughts, feelings, and plans into something we call words. But regrettably, like with every gift, abusing it could have unintended consequences.
In modern world, it is crucial to have balanced speaking and listening skills. It is quite challenging to genuinely understand one another because of the noise of pointless words that a lot of us use to try to hold onto someone else’s attention. Ironically, we communicate less effectively the more we say. The individual who speaks the least benefits the most in most interactions, while the one who speaks the most benefits the least.
In fact, in today’s information-driven society, your long-term success is more dependent on how much you know than it is on your wealth or practically any other factor. When someone talks, they typically reveal more information than they meant to. Information is being received by the listener. Who benefits the most from such transaction?
You won’t make any disclosures that you’ll later regret.
You may always pass on a piece of knowledge later if you don’t today. On the other hand, once information is shared now, it cannot be taken back.
How frequently have you made a disclosure just to wish you hadn’t? Or shared a thought that you might have been better off keeping to yourself? We’ve all encountered these situations at some point. The likelihood that you will reveal knowledge and then regret it decreases the less you speak.
“Better to stay silent and be viewed as a fool than speaking out and dispel all doubt,” stated Abraham Lincoln. I’m not advocating that you always keep quiet. But it is all too simple to speak carelessly, with incomplete knowledge, or based on an incorrect assumption. When you listen more frequently than you speak, you will reduce the likelihood that it will make you appear to be less smart than you are.
Your supply won’t run out.
Have you ever watched a webinar or listened to an interview with your favorite business expert only to hear that expert tell the audience a tale that you had previously read in their most recent book? It frequently occurs for the straightforward reason that few of us have interesting personal stories, experiences, or life lessons to share. We always find ourselves returning to the same ones.
When someone hears a story for the first time, it feels most impactful and new. You offer them greatest power by holding onto yours until it’s most appropriate.
The individual speaking will sense that they are being heard and valued.
Most people wish they could be heard more often during their lives. Therefore, by choosing to listen rather than speak, you are contributing something worthwhile to the speaker. Particularly if you are truly listening to what they are saying and aren’t thinking about anything else. That present will be valued by the speaker, and you have already strengthened your connection. He or she is going to experience acceptance and understanding. It’s an effective technique for fostering relationships and a particularly effective one for sales.
You might learn insider knowledge.
I can attest to the effectiveness of silence as someone who has conducted tens of thousands of interviews. I occasionally use it accidentally when a source completes responding an inquiry and I take a few seconds to think of my following query. The other individual will frequently interrupt to fill the pause with new information, sometimes something they hadn’t intended to say.
You might or might not wish to intentionally employ this manipulative technique. But it nearly always holds fact that the fewer words you talk, the more details the other person will divulge.
Who do you pay closer attention to—someone who never stops talking or someone who talks only occasionally? The rule of demand and supply applies to everything, so if you continuously share your thoughts, nobody is going to seek them out. Your remarks will probably carry more weight if you only occasionally express what you’re thinking or only state a point once rather than repeatedly.
I’m not advocating that you constantly keep your ideas to yourself, to be clear. People close to you should be aware of your thoughts, especially if you are in a position of authority. However, if you spend more of your time listening than speaking, people will listen much more intently when you do voice your thoughts because they will feel understood and connected to you.
